currently the world is topsy turvy with no sign of relent. as an avid of fan of writers and books, COVID-19 has given me time to work on my writing. i finished writing this on May 3, 2020. I started writing it in September of 2019. It begins from that night.

it’s 2:10am in dallas, texas and an impromptu shower calls for music. i just stumbled in the house after enduring the Dallas leg of Nas & Mary J. Blige’s Loyalty tour. My need to take a shower is as random as “Yearning For Your Love” playing on “Jazz Legends Radio”. I pause. I smile. my affinity for seeing legends in music after their “prime” is my fate due to when I was born. still the night was magical. electric. a pilgrimage. the 1994 debut album illmatic classic “Life’s a Bitch”, samples The Gap Band’s “Yearning for your Love”.
in my youth, Nas’ Illmatic didn’t exist. The Gap Band did. it was my mother’s rule that we listened to what she listened to. in college, i discovered Nas, and a ton of other hip hop while effortlessly identifying samples of soul music from the 60’s, 70’s, and early 80’s.
while settling down for bed, i laughed recalling my attempt to meet Nas. my next thought, before falling asleep, was the inspiration to write about why “Let Nas Down” is so precious to hip hop.
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my quest to meet Nas began and ended with his driver asking the club promoter to let me in his after party. i put my raybans on and stood up against the closest wall I could find . with a 7am alarm for work looming over my head, i knew I wouldn’t be inside long. eye rolls flew from my face as i scrutinized white folks act out their hip hop fantasies while receiving bottle service. it was time to go. as I eyed a path out of the club the sound of brass horns filled the room and then…
“Freedom or jail, clips inserted
A baby’s being born same time a man is murdered
The beginning and end, so far as rap goes
It’s only natural, I explain my plateau
And also what defines my name…”

If you’re familiar with Nas’ catalog, it’s possible that you’ve identified the aforementioned lyrics as the Illmatic classic “Nas is like”
but, no.

The verse continued:
“fuck it. Long live your idols
May they never be your rivals
PAC was like Jesus
Nas wrote the Bible…”

I froze.
this was surely the moment that Nas would emerge and parade through the venue. i closed my eyes as the Fela Kuti sampled track (produced by J. Cole) consumed my body. i ascended from earth while rapping along. there was something about hearing this out loud that became intoxicating. For context, “Let Nas Down” is not exactly a song you play to tear the club up and there i was in reese’s pieces.

my reverence for “let nas down” is tested EVERY TIME I hear it. the lure, in my opinion, is the rawness in Cole’s voice as he memorializes his journey to releasing his first album and the lessons that came; including disappointing his hero.

in the first verse of “Let Nas Down”, Cole introduces us to his infatuation with the Queens-born rapper that begins in Cole’s youth. Cole’s reflection invokes us to think about how our relationship with childhood idols came to be while teetering the line of obession and inspiration. an impressionable Cole is entranced by Nas’ ability to speak so vividly that bars come to life. pride is in cole’s voice as Nas’ existence convinces Cole of his own hope of becoming a hip hop giant. He chronicles meeting Nas backstage, speechless, as his mentors dotes over him with adoration. He raps below:
“I used to print out Nas’ raps and tape ’em up on my wall
My niggas thought they was words, but it was pictures I saw
And since I wanted to draw, I used to read them in awe
Then he dropped Stillmatic, rocked the cleanest velour
Fast forward, who’d a thought that I would meet him on tour
I’m earnin’ stripes now, a nigga got Adidas galore
Backstage I shook his hand, let ’em know that he’s the man
When he said he was a fan it was too hard to understand”

the verse concludes with Cole highlighting his inability to enjoy his ride to success due to the subsequent expectation to produce a radio single after signing to ROC NATION.
on may 4, 2007 J. Cole dropped his first mixtape “The Come Up.” A year later, Jay-Z founded RocNation. After a failed attempt to get the attention of Jay-Z previously, Jay eventually signed Cole to Roc Nation in 2009 after hearing “Light’s Please”. That same year J. Cole released “The Warm Up (2009)”, his second mixtape.
cole’s stream of mixtape releases ended with the lyrically potent and publicly acclaimed “friday night lights in november of 2010. it is worth mentioning that the release of Friday Night Lights was a response from Cole to his fans after failing to deliver an album or single under RocNation within a respectable time frame. the success of Friday Night Lights was momentous for an artist that, up until this point, had garnered a fan base solely due to mixtape downloads. Adding to FNL’s entrancing effect was Cole’s ability to pair lucid lyrics with sample-laden produced tracks seamlessly.

as Cole finds himself caught in the middle of staying true to himself and being “humble enough” to capitalize on the slim-in-a-lifetime opportunity Jay-Z has provided, he demonstrates his understanding that although Jay may have signed him, the expectation for him to produce music, quickly, is coming from industry executives. at the time of Cole’s signing, ROC NATION had only been in existence for a year. the “mo’ money mo problems” proverb lends to credence to Cole’s dilemma as he agonizes over what it’s going to require in order for his dream to keep momentum. he raps below in “Let Nas Down”:
“But while I shot up the charts
You mean tellin’ me that I was not up to par
When I followed my heart
Granted, my heart was tainted
By my mind that kept on sayin’
“Where’s the hits?” You ain’t got none
You know Jay’ll never put your album out without none
And, dog, you know how come
Labels are archaic, formulaic with they outcome
They don’t know, they just study the charts
Me, I studied the shows, the fans, study they hearts
I had a feelin’ I was killin’, and this music we were spillin’ out
Would change lives forever, fuck the label, put it out
Friday Night Lights blew, that was classic number two
Now it seemed as if the Nas comparisons was comin’ true
Still no release date from the label — are they insane?
Gucc told me play the game to change the game, but on the way I let Nas down”

upon securing the appropriate clearance, J Cole’s debut single “Workout” was released on June 15, 2011. characteristic of Cole, the track contains samples of Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” and Kanye West’s “New Workout Plan. two months later “The Sideline Story” was released. after a slow chart the single and album were eventually certified platinum by the RIAA. music critics praised the totality of the album. yet what should have been a celebratory moment for the Fayetteville N.C raised rapper was eclipsed by Nas’ disapproval and loyal fans who felt the album to be slightly below the standard of music that they had been used to.

in the aftermath of the Sideline Story’s release Cole went to work on his second album “Born Sinner” which was released in 2013. for day one fans unsure about where Cole’s mainstream career was headed, Let Nas Down was the true focal point of the album. Cole used several interviews during promo tours in 2013, to highlight the song’s significance to him, eminently naming it as “one of his Favorite tracks ”.

in the second verse of the song, we hear Cole’s underlying premise in his choosing to “play the game” as a debut commercial artist. in Cole’s eyes, “Work Out” was the free buffalo cauliflower sample to a new vegan outside of a restaurant hoping to fully transition. he knew his music would return to a place of authenticity thus drawing in fans and “feeding them” forever. he used Jesus’ death to illustrate his willingness to sacrifice himself in exchange for entrapping a bigger fan base and “show ’em that they need more”. He raps below:
“I always believed in the bigger picture
If I could get them niggas to listen
Outside my core then I can open a door
Reintroduce ’em to honesty, show ’em that they need more
The difference between the pretenders and the Kendrick Lamars
And so, I took the fall like the son of the Lord
On the cross, dyin’ for that fake shit you niggas bought”

a more mature Cole emerges in the third verse of the track. we hear him own his choices and healing. the need to move forward now supercedes Nas’ approval. his journey has led him to a place of acceptance whether Nas ultimately endorses him again or not. what once felt like an insurmountable obstacle, is now merely a moment in his rap career; that he still sees as ascending. he ends the verse with a homecoming to self. Cole’s confidence in his process envelopes the listener as he boasts himself up as Hip Hop’s savior. he indirectly mentions Nas with bravado and questions the hip-hop heavyweight’s failure to see his genius, in spite of his start. Cole raps below:
“If I should pass please let this be my last essay
Therefore I write from the heart
Apologies to OG’s for sacrificin’ my art
But I’m here for a greater purpose
I knew right from the start
I’m just a man of the people, not above but equal
And for the greater good I walk amongst the evil
Don’t cry mama, this the life I choose myself
Just pray along the way that I don’t lose myself
This is for the nigga that said that hip-hop was dead
I went to Hell to resurrect it
How could you fail to respect it?”

after Cole finished recording Let Nas Down, a divine encounter with Nas at the airport, moved Nas to respond. “Made Nas Proud” was released on June 24, 2011. in Nas’ verse, he expresses lament for Cole’s dilemma. with violence and destruction surrounding queensbridge’s projects in his youth, ann jones, (nas’ late mother) home reverberated with knowledge and love. initially, the pursuit of his rap career was a matter of staying safe and keeping busy. as his career snowballed, he recalls not having mentors to guide him and being taken advantage of by other rappers. throughout it all nas emphasizes never having to change himself in order to rise because being authentic is what made him impactful. he closes his verse with hope as he boosts Cole up as fully capable of becoming a legend and reverences his mentee with love and respect.
…
historically, when conflict or “beef” happen in hip-hop the perceived winner keeps a leg up by going as low as possible, via rap bars, about their opponent. i wouldn’t classify Let Nas Down as a diss record. i wouldn’t categorize the emcees exchange as beef. yet the emotions that influence beef: offense, hurt, pride, and embarrassment run parallel. in a world where machismo, arrogance, gang/drug affiliation, and flashiness are marketed as necessary in order to be a successful rapper we are challenged. Cole and Nas teach us an alternative way to reconcile hurt publically; artistically.

“Let Nas down” is an ode to black male vulnerability in hip-hop. Its existence is vital to diversifying/softening the reputation that rappers and rap music have been pigeonholed into for decades. similar to other positive displays of black masculinity, this reconciliation amongst two respected rappers deserves a seat at the #goals table. amidst entertainment & social initiatives to spotlight male vulnerability, we got movements like #blackboyjoy #blackmencrytoo, and #theblackmancan.
we see it in Nas’ own reconciliation with his father. it is in Cole’s lullabies to his spouse and first child on his fourth album. it is Nas’ anthem to brothers with daughters, and as recently as the grief and mourning black men displayed in response to Nipsey Hussle, Kobe Bryant, and Pop Smoke’s deaths, amongst others.

we are all Cole in our ability to relate to being rejected and the pain that it causes. it takes grave courage and vulnerability to reconcile relationships after conflict. Cole’s response to letting Nas down is a reminder that adversity has the power to deepen relationships and unlock confidence in abilities, even if the only deepened relationship is the one with self. art and vulnerability are inseparable. i didn’t meet nas that night. i did get to reflect on an iconic, underrated moment between two hip hop giants and record why it matters to the culture. win. i hope it came through.

of course I’m not leaving you without the track. Listen here…as loud as you can stand.